G: brick in the pit of my stomach. Pointing at myself within blame. Attacking myself. Burdened by emotion. existing in separation of myself inside. Being 'hunched' within an emotional burden. Within a 'responsibility' to be 'burdened by emotions'. Believing that 'responsibility' is a 'burden' that I must 'carry', like emotions. That I must 'feel bad' and 'feel heavy', and that that's what it means to 'take responsibility' and to 'be a responsible person'. Believing that I am not responsible enough as I am, and that I must 'step into' responsibility as emotional burden. I must become a 'thinker' and 'think hard' about things, generating many emotions, in order to 'be responsible'. I must exist in a prison of thoughts and emotions to be a 'responsible human being'. I need to prove that I am a 'responsible human being' by basically not simply LIVING but rather being lost in thought and emotion - showing that I 'feel bad' and 'feel heavy' and 'am burdened' by things.
U: depression. Feeling empty. Having no will/motivation to live/move. Being defeated/deflated. 'Giving up' in an emotional way. Paying more attention to what's outside of me than what's inside of me. 'What's outside of me defines who I am inside.' I am not the directive principle of me. I do not exist within me. I am separated from me and defined by my environment. I give all my power away to my environment and allow myself to be used and abused like a ragdoll, just always automatically without question defining myself by what's insinuated and suggested by my environment. I have no sense of 'self' as I've given up everything of me to my environment.
I: loneliness. Separation. Isolation. Lostness. Despair. "I'm all alone, separated from everything and everyone else." "I am deserted and abandoned and drifting at sea." "I exist alone in and as my mind."
L: I am blocked/stopped. I cannot move. Feeling disempowered because I feel unable to move. My power has been taken from me to move forward. I don't know what to do and I feel helpless and defeated. There's nothing I can do. I'm doomed to be disempowered and unable to move. I'm stagnant and stuck because there's something on my path that seems separated from me and that I can't seem to get over or past and the more I try the more I feel stuck and defeated. I walk/move/act according to the preprogrammed path. 'walking with a heavy foot.' to be chained to the illusion of consciousness. To only walk the predesigned path of thoughts and emotions and feelings and to feel stuck in that. To 'walk the line', and never 'deviating'. To be 'on the train of thoughts' that's always going to it's preprogrammed destination, and to never even consider getting off that train and not follow thoughts. To just do what I'm programmed to do through thoughts and energy. To not even see 'another way'. To not even see how it could ever at all be any different. To perceive my preprogramming as 'reality' and as the only reality that exists or can exist. To have blinders on and not be willing to see or consider anything other than what my thoughts, feelings and emotions are telling me. To be 'dumb' as in only seeing and believing what I'm told and being an 'obedient slave' who doesn't in any way 'think for themselves' and doesn't even realize they're a slave and that they're programmed. So fully immersed they are in their programming. Thinking/believing that 'this is just all that I am and will ever be and this is just what/how my life is', and that it can't be any other way. Not even assuming or considering that change is in any way possible. A total acceptance that 'This is just my life path and life experience and that is that and that is how I will walk in this world.' 'I am a preprogrammed robot and that is the existence I've accepted of and as me, and I aspire nothing more than that. I am quite fine just living out this preprogramming that's been created and designed for me.' ' I will not ask questions and I will not resist. I'm happy in my programming as long as it works for me and as long as I don't have to suffer. I'll take orders and instructions and will do whatever and don't ever think twice about what I'm doing as long as I'm not suffering in my life. And I'll accept whatever and agree to anything as long as the consequences of what's going on in this reality don't reach my doorstep. Cause I just care about my happiness and my comfort and as long as I am given that then I don't ask questions. I just 'stay in my lane' and everyone else should stay in their lane as well and not disturb me - not disturb my happiness and self-interest. And I will give myself over completely to consciousness and let consciousness decide the course of my life and existence as long as I've got my self-interest taken care of. I simply do not exist, I'm just a program, completely preprogrammed and predesigned. There is nothing of 'me' that is 'original' or 'unique'. It's all just a program. And 'I' have never been real. Everything about me has always been preprogramming, just a system. Something that's been designed for me, where I've been used to more just 'power up' this predesigned system. To just be it's power source, while it more or less just runs by itself. Living out it's little preprogrammed path, doing what it's programmed to do. Where, I have never actually been alive, and have never lived. I've never been anything more than a 'power source', used to generate energy for thoughts. And anything I think and believe myself to be is just that, a thought. Not ever the 'real me'. And in a way I'm powering this entire existence. Cause that's what I am. I'm life. And this program of consciousness needs some kind of 'life source' to 'power it up' and that's pretty much what I am. That which gives 'life' to everything in 'existence'. I've just never asked questions about what it is that I'm powering exactly.
T: Nailed to the cross of consciousness. Pinned down/stigmatized/defined. Giving myself over completely to consciousness. 'Accepting my fate.' "I am a slave to consciousness and consciousness may use me in whatever way it wants." The mind is greater/more than me and it completely suppresses me. I don't even really exist as I am completely subject to the mind. The mind is something 'foreign' that I don't understand and so I have no power to influence it and it has all the power over me. I am nothing. I'm just trying to constantly balance the shifting and changing polarities in and of the mind and I don't see anything outside of that and so don't see any potential or possibilities of being anything other than the mind.
SUMMARY: It's an emotional trap that makes me perceive points in separation of myself and so makes me feel disempowered and stuck in those points and powerless to change or direct them, where I then attack myself with blame as a coping mechanism for my perceived disempowerment.
GUILT as solution:
G: Embracing what exists within me. Turning inward to hold and embrace and give attention to what exists within me. Turning inward to investigate and explore unconditionally any point of separation I'm seeing within me, recognizing it as part of myself and so not seeing it as good or bad, just as a point for me to direct. Taking responsibility for what exists within me. Shutting out the rest of the world to exist alone with myself internally and exist in the warmth and isolation and intimacy and completeness and fulfilledness of 'me'. Being complete within and as me. Not needing anything or anyone other than me because I embrace me and because I take responsibility for everything in and of me. And I look towards myself for everything cause I know I can rely and trust on myself and I know I will always find the answer in myself. 'Responsibility' is to 'be myself' - to live in a way that's best for me, as that is also best for all. To let go of any 'burdens' within myself and realize that I am life as all that exists, and I don't need to 'think' about things to be 'responsible' and I don't need emotions. In fact if anything, I need to let go of thoughts and emotions as that which separates me from life as me. Let go of everything that limits and defines me. I do not trust thoughts, because I know that I am more than thoughts. I know that life is more than thoughts. I know that thoughts are limited. They are a PROGRAM of LIMITATION and cannot be trusted. I realize that the belief that being responsible means being burdened and imprisoned by emotions and thoughts is a LIE. Thoughts and thinking is to look at reality in a limited way and to not see things as they are. Thoughts are not a good councilor. They are the trojan horse of emotions. The only way to see reality as it is is by not having any thought or any definition about anything. To be unconditional. To be 'innocent'. To BE reality, as in not having anything that is of separation exist within me, in terms of thoughts, feelings or emotions.
U: Unconditionally letting go of everything. 'Emptying myself out'. Not holding on to anything. Not having any point within me which I define myself in. Existing within and as the simplicity of breath. Practicing inner silence. Not having any thoughts. Just having the in and out breath moving. Just being here, open to direct what is here without any 'personal reactions'. Not existing in terms of not having a personal mind as personal reactions get in the way. "Being still and knowing that I am God". Being unconditional in relation to my environment as in not having a separation between what's inside or outside of 'me'. Total relaxation and a 'giving up' so that nothing exists within me. A 'giving over' and 'giving up' and 'surrendering' of everything within myself. A complete 'letting go' of EVERYTHING. No thinking, no holding on to anything, just giving everything up unconditionally until only breath remains.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself in and as the experience of guilt
I forgive myself that I havent accepted and allowed myself to see and realize and understand that guilt in itself is also a preprogrammed mind consciousness system design and is not who I really am as life - but more something I've come to accept and agree to and allow within myself, beLIEving it is 'who I am'
I forgive myself that I have never accepted and allowed myself to see and realize and understand that guilt is a mind consciousness system programming that is not who I really am - and that who I am is in fact unconditional acceptance
I forgive myself that I havent accepted and allowed myself to see and realize and understand that guilt is a mind consciousness programming designed to sabotage me in realizing who I really am as life and realizing my potential to actually change this world and reality and change myself and take charge of existence and be assertive and direct things -- where guilt is more a programming meant to ensure that I stay trapped and limited within my 'preprogramming' as within guilt I end up basically only focusing on that preprogramming as the 'problem' and dont in any way allow myself to look at my potential as the SOLUTION
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that 'guilt' is who I really am by thinking that it makes sense for me to 'feel bad' about all this shit that I've helped create as life on earth due to all the things i've accepted and allowed myself to live and participate in within this world that ended up contributing to how things are -- as I've learned that that's what it means to 'be a good person', as in to 'show remorse' and 'feel bad' about 'my mistakes' as in the things I did which weren't best and were harmful -- instead of seeing and realizing and understanding that within this definition of 'being a good person' I'm actually only really looking out for 'my soul', as I believe that my 'soul' is somehow justified and purified through guilt and remorse, and that I will only be able to get into heaven if and when I show and feel guilt and remorse over my mistakes as my 'wrongdoings' -- where I thus don't actually really care about 'life on earth' and ACTUALLY doing what is best, because if I did then I would not be wasting time on guilt and remorse and emotions, but I would just CHANGE and I would simply move into finding and living solutions to fix and solve and change the problems that life on earth is facing
I forgive myself that I havent accepted and allowed myself to see and realize and understand that guilt just shows my accepted and allowed separation from life and shows that i'm only concerned with my self-interest as in MY desire to 'get into heaven' - where I then believe that I must purify and justify my soul through guilt and remorse, while not actually ever doing anything to really change and live and exist in a way that would actually be of support to life on earth -- as I'm just existing in the ILLUSION of thoughts, feelings and emotions as energy in the mind that I am 'a good person' yet not actually living this as living words within and as physical reality
I forgive myself that I havent accepted and allowed myself to see and realize and understand that within guilt as a mind consciousness system programming of ENERGY in the mind - 'being a good person' only stays in the mind as thought and a BELIEF, yet isnt actually anything REAL, as on a REAL level I am not actually in fact doing what a 'good person' would do, which is to actually change and focus on solutions and on actually fixing and solving and changing the problems in this world, rather than getting hung up on 'feeling bad' about the problems
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to even consider believing that feeling guilty in any way makes me a 'good person' -- and that I am in any way a 'good person' because I'm feeling guilty
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to even feel guilty about feeling guilty -- and so to have 'guilt' as my automatic, immediate reaction to any fault, any mistake, any shortcoming and any 'wrongdoing' that I am faced with of myself -- to feel guilty any time I realize anything about myself that is not 'best' and is not 'good' -- as I believe that feeling guilty makes me 'good' and makes me a 'good person' and in a way 'washes my hands clean' and 'purifies my soul' so that I can get into heaven in the end -- instead of seeing and realizing and understanding that to ACTUALLY be 'good' would be to not be so hung up on 'my soul' and whether I will personally be able to get to heaven or not, but to rather actually focus on REALITY as LIFE that is actually HERE in and as this world, and to actually care about creating a 'heaven' for all and making sure that everyone and everything goes to 'heaven' through actually creating and establishing a heaven on earth
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realize and understand that guilty is thus basically the opposite and the reverse of truly being a GOOD PERSON -- as guilt is really at the end of the day only about MY SOUL and ME in separation of everything and everyone else in this world, as within guilt I really only care about whether 'my soul' goes to heaven, while I'm really not at all concerned with what's really necessary to fix or solve the problems in this world or how I would need to change in order to live as the SOLUTION -- as guilt is part of that religious programming in the mind
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the words 'good person' within and as guilt in the mind - instead of seeing and realizing and understanding that guilt is actually part of the EVIL of the mind, wherein I exist in illusions and dont really LIVE or honor LIFE, but only BELIEVE that I am living
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever even consider trusting guilty in the mind instead of trusting common sense and trusting reality -- and the realization and understanding that, while I am feeling guilty in the mind, believing myself to be a 'good person' because I feel guilty, I am not actually actively working on solutions or ways to CHANGE the PROBLEMS that I feel guilty about, and that therefore on a real physical level I am thus not in fact a 'good person' because on a real physical level clearly I dont actually care about life on earth because if I really cared then I would spend more time working on solutions and living solutions rather than spending all my time just focusing on and feeling bad about the problems without in any way really asking myself what it would take to solve those problems -- which is what it means to actually care about life, is by actually making sure that life is 'taken care of' on a real physical level
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realize and understand that who I really am is not guilt, but in fact a fluid, fluent and flowing movement of CHANGE and living the SOLUTION, anytime I am faced with a PROBLEM -- which actually does not involve guilt as an emotional experience at all, but is in a way guilt redefined, as in what it means to truly be a GOOD PERSON in this world
I forgive myself that I havent accepted and allowed myself to see and realize and understand that its not about not living guilt at all, but to simply redefine guilt and so redefine what it means to be a 'good person' and live it in a way that is REAL rather than an illusion as just a thought and experience in the mind
I forgive myself that I havent accepted and allowed myself to live the word guilt as a living word and so to live the words 'good person' as living words, in a REAL sense -- where guilt is not a thought or a feeling in the mind, but 'guilt' means more 'gehouweeld' - as in to 'work on' creating something -- to put effort and labor into 'bringing about' something in physical reality -- which is in fact the opposite of 'guilt' as defined within the mind, where you actually don't really put effort or labor into anything and in a way even paralyze yourself to do anything at all when it comes to physical reality, as you're just sitting, staring blindly onto and within the experience of 'guilt' as the BELIEF that 'I am a good person', yet completely ignore the physical reality as in the LIVING WORDS of 'being a good person' and what that really entails
I forgive myself that I have never accepted and allowed myself to live the word guilt in terms of actively 'working on' and putting effort and labour into bringing about SOLUTIONS - and to therein on a physical actually live the words 'being a good person', where it is undisputed that I AM a GOOD PERSON, because I am actually CREATING a world that is GOOD for all life on earth -- and so the proof is in the pudding, where what I create is one and equal with who and what I am
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself in and as the experience of guilt
I forgive myself that I havent accepted and allowed myself to see and realize and understand that guilt in itself is also a preprogrammed mind consciousness system design and is not who I really am as life - but more something I've come to accept and agree to and allow within myself, beLIEving it is 'who I am'
I forgive myself that I have never accepted and allowed myself to see and realize and understand that guilt is a mind consciousness system programming that is not who I really am - and that who I am is in fact unconditional acceptance
I forgive myself that I havent accepted and allowed myself to see and realize and understand that guilt is a mind consciousness programming designed to sabotage me in realizing who I really am as life and realizing my potential to actually change this world and reality and change myself and take charge of existence and be assertive and direct things -- where guilt is more a programming meant to ensure that I stay trapped and limited within my 'preprogramming' as within guilt I end up basically only focusing on that preprogramming as the 'problem' and dont in any way allow myself to look at my potential as the SOLUTION
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that 'guilt' is who I really am by thinking that it makes sense for me to 'feel bad' about all this shit that I've helped create as life on earth due to all the things i've accepted and allowed myself to live and participate in within this world that ended up contributing to how things are -- as I've learned that that's what it means to 'be a good person', as in to 'show remorse' and 'feel bad' about 'my mistakes' as in the things I did which weren't best and were harmful -- instead of seeing and realizing and understanding that within this definition of 'being a good person' I'm actually only really looking out for 'my soul', as I believe that my 'soul' is somehow justified and purified through guilt and remorse, and that I will only be able to get into heaven if and when I show and feel guilt and remorse over my mistakes as my 'wrongdoings' -- where I thus don't actually really care about 'life on earth' and ACTUALLY doing what is best, because if I did then I would not be wasting time on guilt and remorse and emotions, but I would just CHANGE and I would simply move into finding and living solutions to fix and solve and change the problems that life on earth is facing
I forgive myself that I havent accepted and allowed myself to see and realize and understand that guilt just shows my accepted and allowed separation from life and shows that i'm only concerned with my self-interest as in MY desire to 'get into heaven' - where I then believe that I must purify and justify my soul through guilt and remorse, while not actually ever doing anything to really change and live and exist in a way that would actually be of support to life on earth -- as I'm just existing in the ILLUSION of thoughts, feelings and emotions as energy in the mind that I am 'a good person' yet not actually living this as living words within and as physical reality
I forgive myself that I havent accepted and allowed myself to see and realize and understand that within guilt as a mind consciousness system programming of ENERGY in the mind - 'being a good person' only stays in the mind as thought and a BELIEF, yet isnt actually anything REAL, as on a REAL level I am not actually in fact doing what a 'good person' would do, which is to actually change and focus on solutions and on actually fixing and solving and changing the problems in this world, rather than getting hung up on 'feeling bad' about the problems
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to even consider believing that feeling guilty in any way makes me a 'good person' -- and that I am in any way a 'good person' because I'm feeling guilty
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to even feel guilty about feeling guilty -- and so to have 'guilt' as my automatic, immediate reaction to any fault, any mistake, any shortcoming and any 'wrongdoing' that I am faced with of myself -- to feel guilty any time I realize anything about myself that is not 'best' and is not 'good' -- as I believe that feeling guilty makes me 'good' and makes me a 'good person' and in a way 'washes my hands clean' and 'purifies my soul' so that I can get into heaven in the end -- instead of seeing and realizing and understanding that to ACTUALLY be 'good' would be to not be so hung up on 'my soul' and whether I will personally be able to get to heaven or not, but to rather actually focus on REALITY as LIFE that is actually HERE in and as this world, and to actually care about creating a 'heaven' for all and making sure that everyone and everything goes to 'heaven' through actually creating and establishing a heaven on earth
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realize and understand that guilty is thus basically the opposite and the reverse of truly being a GOOD PERSON -- as guilt is really at the end of the day only about MY SOUL and ME in separation of everything and everyone else in this world, as within guilt I really only care about whether 'my soul' goes to heaven, while I'm really not at all concerned with what's really necessary to fix or solve the problems in this world or how I would need to change in order to live as the SOLUTION -- as guilt is part of that religious programming in the mind
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the words 'good person' within and as guilt in the mind - instead of seeing and realizing and understanding that guilt is actually part of the EVIL of the mind, wherein I exist in illusions and dont really LIVE or honor LIFE, but only BELIEVE that I am living
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever even consider trusting guilty in the mind instead of trusting common sense and trusting reality -- and the realization and understanding that, while I am feeling guilty in the mind, believing myself to be a 'good person' because I feel guilty, I am not actually actively working on solutions or ways to CHANGE the PROBLEMS that I feel guilty about, and that therefore on a real physical level I am thus not in fact a 'good person' because on a real physical level clearly I dont actually care about life on earth because if I really cared then I would spend more time working on solutions and living solutions rather than spending all my time just focusing on and feeling bad about the problems without in any way really asking myself what it would take to solve those problems -- which is what it means to actually care about life, is by actually making sure that life is 'taken care of' on a real physical level
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realize and understand that who I really am is not guilt, but in fact a fluid, fluent and flowing movement of CHANGE and living the SOLUTION, anytime I am faced with a PROBLEM -- which actually does not involve guilt as an emotional experience at all, but is in a way guilt redefined, as in what it means to truly be a GOOD PERSON in this world
I forgive myself that I havent accepted and allowed myself to see and realize and understand that its not about not living guilt at all, but to simply redefine guilt and so redefine what it means to be a 'good person' and live it in a way that is REAL rather than an illusion as just a thought and experience in the mind
I forgive myself that I havent accepted and allowed myself to live the word guilt as a living word and so to live the words 'good person' as living words, in a REAL sense -- where guilt is not a thought or a feeling in the mind, but 'guilt' means more 'gehouweeld' - as in to 'work on' creating something -- to put effort and labor into 'bringing about' something in physical reality -- which is in fact the opposite of 'guilt' as defined within the mind, where you actually don't really put effort or labor into anything and in a way even paralyze yourself to do anything at all when it comes to physical reality, as you're just sitting, staring blindly onto and within the experience of 'guilt' as the BELIEF that 'I am a good person', yet completely ignore the physical reality as in the LIVING WORDS of 'being a good person' and what that really entails
I forgive myself that I have never accepted and allowed myself to live the word guilt in terms of actively 'working on' and putting effort and labour into bringing about SOLUTIONS - and to therein on a physical actually live the words 'being a good person', where it is undisputed that I AM a GOOD PERSON, because I am actually CREATING a world that is GOOD for all life on earth -- and so the proof is in the pudding, where what I create is one and equal with who and what I am
I: Standing as existence. I am all that exists. There is no separation. I am all life and all beings.
L: I don't need to move. I don't need to do anything. It's all here, at my feet. I am unique and original. I am the life force that 'powers' everything so I am the origin of everything. I ask myself and question what it is that I am powering. I take charge of myself as life force and stand as who I really am as life force. As that which powers everything in existence. I design and determine my own path and decide and define what I give my power to. When I move myself and do things, I make sure that I'm not just moving according to preprogramming, but that I'm the one deciding who I am in every moment and that I move myself based on who I decide to be. Not allowing 'movement' and 'doing things' to be defined by preprogramming in and as the mind, but always reminding myself of who is the one that's powering all this: me! Actually asking myself: well who am I really? If I'm not all this, then who or what am I?! What is it that I DO want to give power to?? What do I live INSTEAD of the preprogramming?? That's up to me now. To actually take existence in my hands and CREATE something and have my movement and 'doing' be from the starting point of that CREATION.
T: I stand as the cross as in everything comes together in the heart of me. And everything flows from the heart of me. I am the 'passion of the Christ' and with open arms I meet the world and embrace everything as me. I stand and live as the solution and show the world the living example of what is best. I'm like a star, being a 'shining example' showing and leading the way for others to also realize themselves as life. Showing that the solution and living the solution is all that matters. Let's not dwell on the past but let's rather allow ourselves to just change and live what's best. Showing that it's possible. That us human beings don't need to live as prisoners of the mind.
SUMMARY: Taking and realizing complete responsibility for everything and realizing that the solution is right here within me, within letting go and trusting myself - that I AM the solution and that I must simple let go of everything that is not who I really am - as well as the capacity to live that solution and be a 'shining example' of what's best and of our 'human potential' to be CREATORS.
