Humility

"Would humility be to agree with another as yourself when they say what you already understand as you understand that your support will mean more than you trying to make a point that you know more?"

"is humility the ability to step back and allow another to become equal as one?"

"There can be no winner in a world that is best for all --as it will be a win win solution"

~Bernard Poolman


"Humility is to be able to start new unconditionally without holding onto past accomplishments as ego" ~Matti Freeman



Humility is a word that I immediately within my mind associate with 'humiliation', because they are similar words and because of experiences within my past of feeling 'humiliated' - wherein I associated the word 'humiliation' with a negative value and thus experience this automatic 'negative experience' towards everything that looks/sounds like 'humiliation' - like 'humility'.

I would fear humility because i fear feeling humiliated - I fear that if i were to be humble, that that would mean to 'stand under' and 'be less than' others, making me an 'easy target' for abuse by other beings like the 'humiliation' that I experienced as a child when my parents/teachers were angry/upset towards me and punished me - wherein I felt humiliated, looked down on and disrespected.

In this world, I learned that in order to survive and live a decent life, I have to fight, struggle and compete with others, constantly showing that i am 'the best' and 'better' than others in everything I do from the words I speak, to sports, to drawing, singing and writing , and that I should be in constant 'defense mode', ready to react whenever I feel like someone is trying to exert power over me and try to 'put me down', to make sure that I never end up in those situations that I was in as a child with my parents, wherein I often felt humiliated, inferior and powerless.

I have always existed within great anger towards this reality, towards my parents for punishing me, towards teachers for speaking to me in a demeaning way - generally for me feeling 'humiliated' and 'inferior' as a reaction to how my environment expressed themselves towards me - therefore I have in a way always been existing in competition/battle/conflict wherein I basically wanted revenge, I wanted my environment to feel that same humiliation and inferiority that I had always felt within myself, and thus I would rather exert my ego and show everyone that I am apparently 'better' than them and 'superior' than to be humble and allow others to also express themselves.

I would remain stuck in the experience of myself as feeling 'attacked' by my environment due to memories of being punished and reacting with fear - wherein I was still seeing my environment just like I saw my parents/teachers, which is like 'monsters', like 'the bad ones', the ones that I have to fight and defend/protect myself from, thus my struggle/conflict/competition with them of trying to 'win' from them seemed justified and 'right' because I am apparently 'the victim', which is like that whole concept of 'the battle between right and wrong, good and 'evil' wherein 'good/right' must always win and destroy 'evil'/'wrong'.

Yet, I never noticed that in my 'battle with evil', believing myself to be the apparent 'good/right one', the 'hero' - I was in fact doing the exact same to that which I deemed to be 'evil' as what that 'evil' did to me, which caused me to react with fear of 'evil' in the first place. Therein the 'evil' was eventually me, I just never noticed it as I was still stuck in that initial experience of fear, wherein I felt like I was the victim - so I would never even notice that I am now becoming the 'monster' in trying to fight that which I felt threatened by.

This is the origin, reason and bases of WAR - wherein neither side is willing to be humble because they both feel threatened/afraid and thus both belief that they are 'right/good' in their battle with/against that which they experience to be 'the monster'/'evil' - and this obviously stems from the EGO as the unwillingness to consider anything but personal automatic emotional/energetic reactions, the unwillingness to place self in the shoes of another and realize that all exist here as life-form and there is no 'good' or 'evil', there is only life as what is HERE wherein all is one and equal. It is this EGO that messed everything up, that clouded our vision of what is real and who we are - as we got caught in an endless chain of reactions towards each other, that is all based on a deep-rooted fear of death coming from memory, wherein we learned that 'life'/'reality' will kill/destroy/attack us if we do not react and defend ourselves and try to be 'the better person/ego'/'the victor'.

And thus it seems that humbleness can only exist when and where there is no fear of death - because as long as we fear to die, there will always be the fear that another might 'take our life' and we will never truly be able to allow another to live and express themselves as we will always attempt and try to control our environment to make ourselves feel safe and secure.

Humbleness can only exist as respect for life/existence and realizing that what I do unto another is what I do unto myself - thus being aware within my 'interaction' with other beings/life-forms, that I am speaking to/interacting with myself. And within this realization/awareness one is forced to become humble as you stand in the face of yourself, because towards yourself there cannot be lies, deception or secret 'back-rooms' within the mind that serve to 'protect and defend self'. You know yourself, you can look into the darkest realms of yourself - so you cannot lie to yourself, you can only lie when you believe that there exist 'another' that is not you.

Humbleness is the realization that all is me - and the practical application and living of this realization, of checking myself within self-honesty in each and every moment of interaction with this reality, to make sure that I am not trying to in some way deceive/manipulate reality for my own personal survival/future - within the realization that I am responsible for this reality and what I allow to exist within myself will determine what I allow to exist within another being as myself and consequently it will determine the kind of reality that I allow to exist (which at the moment is a very deceptive reality of capitalism as a game of survival of the fittest wherein all beings are set out to destroy each other). Humbleness is to support all life that exist here within my reality as myself completely, totally, absolutely and unconditionally no matter what, as a statement of who I am as humbleness, because who I decide to be is only what is best to the ultimate degree and because I realize that I am here and I am life, thus it is my responsibility to stand as the living statement of what I as life will and will not allow to exist within myself.

And this has got nothing to do with that entire ego-game of 'humiliation vs domination' - because both the experience of humiliation as the experience of domination come from a starting point of separation, of seeing myself as apparently 'special' and 'separate' from life, and apparently not responsible for all as myself. Actual real humbleness is not an inner energetic experience that would separate me from the reality that exist here, forever more stuck within the energetic polarity friction of 'inferior vs superior', always looking for 'who I am'.

Real HUMBLENESS/HUMILITY is in fact an act of GOD, to stand as the GOD principle of taking absolute responsibility for all that exist here as myself - and to thus direct existence to become what it is supposed to be, which is heaven, within the image and likeness of myself as GOD as humility that exist within the lived and applied realization of oneness and equality. Not accepting anything less than 'Divinity' as who I am as life as who all really is - and to realize that those that 'choose' to not exist as that divinity of oneness and equality, are being deliberately spiteful towards themselves as life and are thus making the statement that they are not life as they are not willing to accept and respect all existence as themselves - and they accordingly have no place in heaven.

Humility in action is to make the decision to step out of the mind as self-perceived superiority wherein I have constructed a 'personality' of believing myself to be 'God' that has dominion over all life that exist here and wherein I have become addicted to the 'energetic experience' of 'feeling as though I am God'. Humility is to in fact realize myself as God and to give life instead of take it, to nurture life instead of destroy and consume it - and therein giving myself as life to myself, creating the opportunity for self-enjoyment to emerge. This is God enjoying Self as Creation in oneness and equality, because what I have been doing and existing as up to now has been basically running away from myself and trying to find 'Joy' somewhere 'outside' of myself, objectifying and separating creation from myself to exist in the illusion that all is not me and that there is a way to 'not experience myself', which would be in 'energy' as 'the soul construct'.

To exist as the living application of HUMILITY is to exist as God enjoying Self as Creation as all there is within and as oneness and equality.

Humility is also specifically to realize that 'all does not evolve around me' and to stop myself in being so fixated and obsessed with my 'self-image' as the 'light' that I shine within and as my mirror-reflection - and to allow another to realize themselves and to support another in realizing themselves as life itself as humility. Humility is to place myself in the shoes of another and to thus allow another as myself to stand up and realize themselves as who they really are as one and equal with myself.